


when I'm down on my knees, you're how I pray

by songofthe52hertzwhale



Category: Dalton Academy Series
Genre: Light Bondage, Logan Wright BDSM, M/M, Sex, Spanking, Toys, blindfolding, clearly, does this count as BDSM, it's like BDSM lite, vanilla bdsm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-13
Updated: 2020-01-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:01:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22236010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/songofthe52hertzwhale/pseuds/songofthe52hertzwhale
Summary: Sometimes, Julian needs to relax.Sometimes, Logan needs to help.
Relationships: Julian Larson-Armstrong/John Logan Wright III
Comments: 1
Kudos: 12





	when I'm down on my knees, you're how I pray

Julian’s tendency to work himself to exhaustion has always been troubling. Logan can’t count how many times he’s had to physically pull Julian away from scripts, how often Julian’s returned from a film shoot with dark circles under his eyes, his clothes fitting much more loosely than they had before. He doesn’t listen to reason ever, seems to find his own well-being secondary to nailing a scene.

Before, Logan had tried various ways to keep Julian from wearing himself too thin. He’d tried rewards, tried logic. None of it worked.

Not until their relationship had turned a little less platonic. Not until Logan found an effective remedy for Julian’s workaholic tendencies.

It starts when Julian returns from yet another lengthy shoot, steps off his red-eye flight looking as if he can barely keep himself upright. Logan doesn’t say anything in the airport, but he knows Julian senses his displeasure.

“It was my father,” Julian says in the car, “I had to work ten times as hard as anyone else. You know how it is.”

“You didn’t have to kill yourself trying to impress him.”

“I’m fine, Logan, don’t be dramatic.”

But he’s not fine.

He’s always the same, when he comes back from things like these. His appetite is all over the place, his anxiety high. The stress doesn’t go away when the cameras shut off; instead, Julian worries how his performance will be critiqued, how audiences might feel. The stress, combined with the abnormal schedule he always keeps in Hollywood, leads to intense bouts of insomnia that Julian’s coffee intake only worsens.

“You need to sleep,” Logan tells him, hours after they’ve gone to bed, “You look like you haven’t had a good nights’ rest since you left.”

“I haven’t,” Julian admits, “I’m trying. There’s too many things in my head. Distract me?”

If that isn’t an invitation, Logan’s not sure what is. He rolls over, arms bracketing Julian’s head, head tilting forward for a deep kiss. Julian’s responding movements are slow, sleepy. But he doesn’t rest. Logan’s hands find Julian’s wrists, pressing them deep into the mattress.

And then he has the idea.

His tie is hanging over a bedpost, discarded at the end of the school day yesterday. They haven’t tried something like this yet. Truthfully, Logan’s struggled to hold himself together long enough to manage anything further than some very vanilla -- but very, very satisfying -- sex.

“Hands up,” Logan says, his voice coming out a little deeper than usual, “Above your head.”

A fleeting look passes over Julian’s face, one Logan can’t recognize. He inhales sharply, and then his arms rise, fingers wrapping around the thick slats of wood framing Logan’s bed. His eyes are dark, but they follow Logan’s movements, watching as Logan wraps the striped tie firmly around Julian’s wrists, as he loops it around the headboard.

“It’s not that tight,” Julian says lightly, “I could get out of this, if I wanted.”

“Don’t,” Logan says, and that look he recognizes. Julian’s body arches into the next kiss, half-rising from the bed in desperation to press against Logan. He’s pliant, and needy, and Logan feels a thrill run through his body at Julian’s obedience to his request.

Julian keeps his hands above his head as Logan kisses down his bare chest. He whimpers, and he whines, but his hands don’t pull from their binds. Logan trails further downward, his tongue tracing over the muscles of Julian’s abdomen, dipping into the sharp angles of his hipbones.

“You’re teasing,” Julian says, accusing.

“Is it really teasing if I fully intend on taking you apart?”

He slips his fingers below the waistband of Julian’s underwear -- and god, is he lucky Julian wears so little to sleep -- and Julian’s breath catches. The skin there is sensitive, Logan knows, almost as much as delicate softness of Julian’s throat.

Logan takes his time. He slips Julian’s underwear off his legs, slowly kisses a trail back up. His lips graze over a ticklish ankle, the curve of a calf, a soft thigh. He skips over Julian’s cock, for now, sliding back up until he can take Julian’s mouth again.

“You are teasing,” Julian says, hardly sounding too bothered.

“I’m trying to help you relax. You gonna be good for me?”

A loud whimper escapes Julian’s throat, a stronger vocalization of his pleasure than normal. Logan takes it as a yes.

Julian keeps his hands in place as Logan takes him in his mouth. He moans, and he gasps, and his hips rise off the bed. When Logan spreads his legs, hooking one of Julian’s soft thighs over his own shoulder, Julian stays where he is. His eyes flutter shut when Logan’s fingers slip inside him, his mouth falls open when the fingers are replaced with something a little more exciting.

It’s not exactly normal bedroom behavior for him. Usually, Julian is eager to push Logan into the pillows, to climb into his lap and conduct the teasing himself. Usually, Logan wakes the next morning with long red scratches down his back, smiles at his reflection in the mirror before covering them up with a shirt. Usually, Julian is obsessed with touching.

Tonight, Julian lets himself be touched. And Logan takes his time. It’s a bit of a rush, being completely in control like this. He knows exactly how to take Julian apart.

And Julian falls apart so beautifully.

He manages to keep Julian just on the edge for quite some time. Julian’s near-sobbing by the time Logan finally lets him finish, and his whole body trembles with the force of his orgasm. He falls limp against the mattress after, his eyes half-lidded. Logan’s hands quickly undo the knots of his tie and he takes Julian’s wrists in his hands, kissing the reddened skin lightly.

“Was that enough of a distraction?” he asks, already knowing the answer. The tension is gone from Julian’s shoulders, and he blinks sleepily up at Logan.

He’s asleep within minutes, and Logan can’t help but feel a little smug.

The second time, Logan feels a bit of responsibility.

He’s been granted a solo at the end-of-year performance, has picked a song meant specifically for Julian’s ears. Julian’s smile had wavered when Logan told him about it, and when pressed, he’d admitted that his film schedule would almost certainly run through the date of the performance.

Logan had tried to hide his disappointment, promised that Derek would record it. He should’ve guessed Julian would pull every string available to him to hear the solo in person.

He brings flowers, when he comes -- calla lilies, tied together with a red bow. He smiles, tells Logan how much he enjoyed it, kisses him softly.

He looks as if he hasn’t slept in days.

“I had them cut a week off the schedule,” Julian confesses, “I’m sure I made a handful of enemies, pushing the shoot like that. It’s been fourteen hour days for the past week.”  
“You didn’t have to do that.”

“It was important to you.”

God, sometimes Logan can’t handle how much he loves this boy. He takes the flowers in one hand, uses the other to lead Julian by the arm out of the performance hall. He waves off the shouts behind him about an afterparty. Right now, he’s more concerned with the dark circles beneath Julian’s eyes.

Julian’s leaning on him heavily as they make their way back to Stuart, and it’s obvious he’s nearly delirious from lack of sleep. He stumbles when Logan pushes him into his bedroom, sinking down onto the mattress.

“‘m not sleepy,” he argues, “I want to see you.”

“I’ll be right here. And you can see me in the morning, after you’ve gotten some rest.”

Julian whines, his hands sliding up Logan’s chest, “I wanna see you now.”

He grips the end of Logan’s tie, twisting until it loops around his hands. There’s a familiar look in his eyes, and he casts his gaze behind him, to the wooden headboard.

Logan does like giving Julian what he wants.

“On your back,” he says firmly, and his chest clenches at how quickly Julian obeys. Logan works at the knot of his tie as Julian slides backwards, his hands coming up to the wood slats automatically. But as Logan takes the tie in his hands, he has a different idea.

He kneels on the bed, knees bracketing Julian’s hips. Julian’s arms rotate as Logan moves closer, and he presses his wrist together.

“Could I blindfold you?” Logan asks instead, and Julian momentarily freezes, “You can say no. We can do what we did last time.”

“...you won’t leave, right?” Julian asks, “You’ll stay here the whole time?”

“I’ll stay on this bed until it’s off again,” Logan promises.

There’s another momentary hesitation, and then Julian nods. He lifts his head as Logan wraps the tie twice around, knotting it loosely at the base of Julian’s skull. Logan leans in to kiss him softly, slides his hands up to grasp at Julian’s wrists.

“Keep them here, alright?” he says, squeezing the fingers wrapped around his headboard, “I’m not gonna tie you up while you can’t see. But keep them here for me, alright?”

Julian nods, and a soft sigh falls from his lips. His knees fall apart, and Logan smiles at the eagerness.

Still, he goes slowly. He isn’t quite as methodical this time -- he wants Julian to be surprised by where his hands fall next, wants to make him twitch with anticipation. He likes Julian’s soft gasps when he moves from kissing his inner thigh to biting at a raised nipple. He relishes in Julian’s moans, in the desperate arch of his back as he strains to press closer.

Logan doesn’t have much opportunity to give, in this way. It’s not for lack of interest. It’s just that Julian falls to his knees on instinct, takes Logan in his mouth so masterfully Logan rarely has the focus to reciprocate.

This time, he enjoys himself. He feels the weight of Julian in his mouth, the slightly salty taste as he licks across the tip. Julian twitches below him, and Logan’s fingers wrap around his narrow hips. He presses firmly, hard enough he’s sure Julian’s delicate skin will show finger-shaped bruises tomorrow.

He knows Julian likes it.

Julian cries out when Logan takes him deep. He whimpers, and he moans, and he writhes against the mattress.

But he never lets go of the headboard. He never tries to pull off the blindfold.

He’s being so good, so obedient, and Logan feels himself becoming painfully hard as he wraps his lips around Julian’s cock. He doesn’t touch himself. Not this time. Still, when Julian spills onto his tongue, Logan isn’t far behind.

“Lo?” Julian gasps, struggling to catch his breath. His fingers twitch, and Logan slides upward, kisses his lips as he slips off the blindfold. Julian blinks rapidly, his eyes adjusting to the dim light from the total darkness. He doesn’t move his arms until Logan taps at one shoulder, and then they wind around Logan’s neck.

“Was that okay?” Logan asks, “The blindfold?”

“It was okay,” Julian says, pulling Logan closer, “So okay.”

His kiss is uncoordinated, sloppy. He whines when Logan pulls away to clean himself up, then burrows close when he returns. Within minutes, he’s snoring softly in Logan’s ear.

Interesting.

It’s not all sex that tames Julian, Logan discovers. Most of the time, orgasms only make Julian more energetic, and he keeps Logan up all night with his appetite.

Logan has no complaints to that, of course. Sometimes, it’s what he wants. When Julian vanishes for weeks, when Logan’s left with nothing but vivid memories and his own hand, that first night is glorious. He doesn’t mind the fatigue the next day, not when he sees Julian’s slight limp as he walks into class.

But sometimes, it’s what Julian needs. When he overworks himself, when his body his tense with anxiety and tight with stress, when he’s desperate for a way to unwind.

He doesn’t ask for it, explicitly. Logan wonders if he’s embarrassed about his desire, or if he’s still hesitant to ask for what he wants after all this time. But after a particularly grueling week of press events, he greets Logan with a bruising kiss and a hand wrapped in Logan’s tie. It’s a request, Logan knows, and one he’s happy to fulfill.

But perhaps not in the way Julian expects.

Logan’s been thinking since last time. Of the things he can try, the things Julian might find appealing. Nothing wild, of course -- he wouldn’t attempt something too serious without a real conversation, and Julian’s in no state for that kind of talk.

He’s already trembling when Logan binds his hands behind his back. He winds the tie around Julian’s wrists, admires the contrast of the deep colors against Julian’s golden skin. When the knot is tight, Julian moves to fall to his knees. Logan stops him with a finger beneath his chin.

“Next time,” he says, “I have a different idea for tonight.”

At Julian’s questioning look, Logan walks backwards to the bed. He sits on the edge, slides backwards until his calves bend along the edge of the mattress. They’re both still fully clothed, and Logan only half-means to remedy that. Julian stands very still as Logan unbuttons his pants, shimmies a little to aid the effort when Logan slides them down to his knees.

“Over my lap,” he says, leaning back on his hands, “Face down.”

It’s a little awkward, with his hands bound and his jeans pooled around his ankles. Logan reaches forward to help, pulls Julian into his lap until he seems comfortable enough.

“Can you breathe alright?” he asks, frowning at the way Julian’s face seems pressed against the mattress.

Julian tilts his head a little, “I can breathe. Are you...are you going to…?”

“I’m going,” Logan says, enunciating clearly, “To take care of you.”

Julian’s ass is full beneath his palm. Logan’s well aware how lucky he is to touch here, how many people would kill to be in his place. But it’s him Julian’s chosen, the only one who gets to run his fingers over the soft skin of Julian’s ass.

The first slap is restrained, more of an experiment of anything. Still, Julian jerks beneath his hand, chokes back a moan as Logan’s hand connects with his skin. Logan rubs the affected area, squeezing just slightly.

“Is this okay?”

Julian lets out a breathy laugh, “I wouldn’t be in your lap if this wasn’t okay.”

The next slap is harder. Julian’s whole body shoots forward, and Logan grips onto Julian’s waist with his free hand. Logan gives him only a few moments to recover before his hand comes down again, and the ringing sound of the slap echoes throughout the room. It doesn’t take long for Julian’s skin to redden, and Logan moves onto the other cheek.

He can feel Julian’s arousal against his thighs. He can hear the way Julian fails to contain his moans, the desperate noises falling from his lips.

Logan enjoys it just as much as he anticipated. He loves the way Julian’s skin colors more with each strike, the way his ass moves with each slap. He loves the sounds Julian’s making, the way he ruts against Logan’s thighs. When Logan’s hand comes down harder than before, Julian actually cries out, and his hands twitch wildly in their bindings.

“I suppose I didn’t have to tie you up,” Logan says idly, rubbing Julian’s warm skin, “I just didn’t want you touching yourself, you know? I didn’t want you ruining my fun too quickly.”

“Fuck you,” Julian gasps, but his words turn into a moan at the next hard slap.

“You were saying?”

He can feel Julian getting close. His hips stutter over Logan’s lap, and Logan’s thighs feel damp where Julian’s cock rubs over the fabric.

“You can come, you know,” he says, after another volley of slaps, “I’m not stopping you.”

It seems permission is all that Julian’s been waiting for. Logan only manages a handful of slaps more before Julian’s spilling out over his lap, biting at the sheets to muffle his cries. Logan’s hand stills over Julian’s ass, resting lightly against the skin as Julian trembles.

The red skin beneath his fingers is fascinating, and Logan can’t help but lean in to kiss it. Julian makes a soft noise beneath him, twitching, and Logan reaches up to yank his tie from Julian’s wrists. They’re nearly as red as his ass, angry lines drawn across the skin from where he’d struggled.

“Does it hurt?” he asks, running his fingers over the marks.

“Yes,” Julian breathes, “But I like it.”

“And it helped?”

Julian doesn’t answer at first. Logan doesn’t really expect him too. He moves further up the mattress, pulls Julian down onto his chest. One hand rests on the still-warm skin of Julian’s ass, and he doesn’t bother to change out of his clothes as he holds Julian close.

“Yes,” Julian says quietly, some time later, “It helped.”

“I miss you,” Julian says, and Logan’s stomach clenches at the way his voice breaks. It’s summer, and they’d anticipating spending several lazy months together in Logan’s pool in the Hamptons. But then Julian had landed a role he couldn’t bear to turn down, and Logan had been accepted into an early summer course that piqued his interest, and somehow they’d wound up with several countries between them.

He hears the frustration in Julian’s voice. The schedule isn’t particularly demanding this time. No, this time it’s the location that’s leading to Julian’s stress. Far away, separated from his friends and his family. He hadn’t even been allowed to bring his pets, due to customs laws, and Logan knows how lonely he must be.

Julian tries to hide it, of course. He doesn’t like appearing weak, even in front of Logan. He talks about the script, about the stunts. He mentions the cuisine of the area, the scenery.

But Logan can tell.

Julian needs him.

He can only spare a weekend. He hopes it’s enough. He catches a flight right after his Thursday afternoon seminar ends. It’s a long flight, and the time change means he doesn’t make it to Julian until mid-afternoon on Friday.

He’s filming, of course, when Logan arrives. But the production assistant recognizes him, and it’s almost alarming how quickly Logan’s shown to Julian’s hotel room. It’s a bit of a mess, really, and Logan has to kick aside a pile of clothes as he steps inside.

The look on Julian’s face is more than worth the long flight. His bag falls from his shoulder with a thud, and his mouth falls open.

“Logan…?”

“Come here,” Logan says firmly, and Julian stumbles in his haste. Logan takes him into his arms, kisses him firmly. Julian nearly falls apart at his touch, leaning into Logan’s grasp.

“Are you done for the day?” Logan asks, “Anywhere else you need to be?”

“No,” Julian tells him with a shake of his head, “No, not until Monday.”

“Well in that case...get on your knees.”

Julian blinks, “What?”

“Get,” Logan repeats, as he flicks his belt open with one hand, “On. Your. Knees.”

And Julian falls so prettily. His head tilts upward as his knees hit the carpet, his eyes seeing out Logan’s. His hands rest on Logan’s thighs, and his breathing quickens. He looks beautifully hungry for it, and Logan can’t help but smile.

“Do we need to talk about rules?” Logan asks.

Julian shakes his head. His hands fall from Logan’s thighs to his sides, and he leans back, waiting. His mouth twitches as Logan unbuttons his pants, and his eyes dart away from Logan’s eyes.

“Look at me,” Logan orders, tilting Julian’s chin up, “I want to see you.”

This time, Julian keeps his head tilted upwards. He shifts on his knees as Logan’s belt hits the floor, as Logan pushes his own pants down to free his cock. He doesn’t budge, even when Logan takes a step closer.

“Open,” Logan says, and Julian’s lips part.

He slips inside slowly, testing Julian’s reaction. Somehow, Julian seems to inherently understand what Logan’s desires are in this little game. He makes no effort to take Logan in any deeper. Instead, he sits perfectly still on his knees, his eyes fixed on Logan’s face. He keeps his mouth open, lets Logan slide inside as he pleases.

“You’re gonna be good for me, right?” Logan asks, tangling one hand in Julian’s hair, “You’re gonna behave?”

Julian nods just slightly, and the motion presses his tongue against the underside of Logan’s cock. It sends a thrill up Logan’s spine, and he tightens his grip on Julian’s curls.

He starts slow. He doesn’t want to hurt Julian, not really. He tests his limits, watches Julian’s reaction. When he presses in deep, Julian’s eyes roll back in his head. He moans around Logan’s cock, only opening his eyes again when Logan tugs at his hair.

It’s so much different than usual. Julian’s so skilled at this, normally. So artful in his technique. He does none of that now, lets Logan take the lead and fuck his mouth at his pleasure.

And Logan does take his pleasure.

When he wants a change in angle, he tugs at Julian’s hair. He changes speed when he wants, alternating between slow and fast. It’s messier than normal, and he can feel Julian drooling around him. He goes deeper, and Julian’s eyes water. But he’s moaning, his eyelashes fluttering, and Logan can tell Julian likes it just as much as he does.

He speeds up. He pushes in faster, deeper. Julian’s tears flow freely now, but his hands remain firmly at his sides. He’s moved to clench at his own pants now, no doubt in a desperate attempt to obey Logan’s unspoken order to not touch.

“I’m gonna come,” Logan finally chokes out, hand tight in Julian’s hair, “I want to...can I…”

He doesn’t quite get the question out. He pulls out quickly, taking himself in his hand just before he falls over the edge. Julian keeps his mouth open, catching as much as he can.The rest paints his cheeks a milky white, falls across his nose, catches in his eyelashes.

He looks utterly debauched.

“You know,” Julian says, his voice hoarse, “You didn’t actually ask if I minded.”

Logan can barely form words. He struggles for breath, “I can apologize later.”

“No need,” Julian says, finally bringing his hands to Logan’s hips. He pulls himself up, pressing close, “But you will clean me up, won’t you?”

Logan leans forward, licking at Julian’s stained lips.

Julian laughs, and his hands come up to cup Logan’s face.

“Thank you,” he says, “I needed this.”

Julian’s breath is coming in shallow pants. He’s not touching himself, of course. He’s promised, and he always keeps his promises. His arms are thrown out to his sides, his hands tight against the pillows he’s reclining on. Pink lips are slightly parted, and every so often a red tongue darts out to lick at them.

“Logan,” he murmurs, “Please. I need it.”

Logan glances up, raising an eyebrow, “I told you to be patient, didn’t I?”

“But Lo, please…”

“I can take it out now,” Logan offers, setting down his book, “If that’s what you want. But I do still have to finish this assignment. You’ll have to take care of yourself. Is that what you want?”

Julian squirms a little. It takes him a moment to answer, but eventually: “...no.”

“So you’ll be patient, then?”

“Mm hm.”

Logan’s lips quirk. His hand drifts to the small silver remote on his desk, and he taps a button. Julian whimpers, and he writhes against the sheets, his legs falling to the mattress.

“Knees bent, Julian,” Logan reminds him, “I want to see it.”

Julian pulls his knees upward, and his hips shift against the pillow beneath him. The angle gives Logan a perfect view of the flared end of the plug pressed deep inside him.

It had been a bit of an impulse purchase, really. He hadn’t been sure he liked the idea of watching Julian with a toy. After all, he’d much rather please Julian himself. But sometimes, his schedule just won’t allow for that. He appreciates that Julian has taken the time to visit, but he has his finals to finish, and he can’t be distracted by Julian’s body.

He can, however, find other ways to keep Julian occupied. The vibrating plus is on a low setting for now, but Logan fully intends on rewarding Julian for his compliance -- for every page he writes undisturbed, he’ll turn it up.

When he is disturbed, however…

“Can you even feel it, this low?” Logan asks, peering over the top of his computer, “You’re so noisy, are you that desperate for something inside you?”

“I hate you,” Julian hisses, “You’re the worst.”

“If you just behave, you’ll get your reward.”

Julian glares, but Logan just smirks. He turns back to his paper, discards the book in his hand for another. It isn’t a difficult paper, or a particularly long one. He should be finished quickly enough. But teasing Julian like this is such a thrill, and the next press of the remote comes unannounced. He doesn’t look up when Julian moans loudly, but he does press a hand between his own legs, putting a small amount of pressure on his own arousal.

This game might not last as long as he’d hoped. He’s far too affected by Julian’s noises, and his concentration is waning quickly. He cranks out another page, adds a few more quotes from authors he knows his professor agrees with. His fingers slide over the remote once more, and he presses the button once, twice, three times.

“Fuck,” Julian gasps, his whole body curling in on itself, “Logan…”

It’s impossible, now, to ignore him. Logan rises from his desk slowly, leaving the remote where it is. He falls to his knees on the bed, pushes Julian’s legs aside to examine the plug pressed inside him. He can feel the vibration when he presses his fingers against it, stronger than he expected.

“How does it feel?” he asks, stroking Julian’s thighs, “Is it good?”

“Good,” Julian breathes, staring up at him, “Good, but I need more. Please.”

“It’s not enough?” Logan presses his fingers against the plug, pushing it deeper, “You mean it’s not me.”

Julian says nothing. But he sucks his lower lip between his teeth, bites down hard enough to draw blood. He needs more, and Logan’s more than happy to acquiesce.

He pushes at Julian’s hips, maneuvers him until he rolls over onto his stomach. With the pillow still beneath him, his body his angled beautifully, and Logan stares down at his stretched hole. His breath ghosts over the skin ashe leans in, and Julian shivers when Logan’s mouth presses to his skin.

He wraps his fingers around the end of the plug next, pulling it out slowly. Julian whimpers at the sensation, and Logan admires the way his hole gapes at the loss.

“You think you’re ready for me?” Logan asks, “Was that enough?”

“I swear, Logan, if you don’t fuck me…”

Before he can finish the threat, Logan’s sliding inside. Julian opens up for him, taking him in so easily. He’s still slick from Logan’s earlier preparations, when he’d opened Julian up to take the plug. Still, Logan’s a little bigger than the toy he’d purchased.

His ego wouldn’t have it any differently, of course.

Julian takes him so well. They don’t normally fuck like this, with Julian on his stomach. Logan prefers to look at him, to watch his reactions and witness his pleasure. But this view is so nice, and Logan’s hands squeeze at Julian’s ass as he presses deeper.

Julian’s vocal, this time. He moans with every thrust, cries out when Logan changes his angle, When Logan’s hands slide up his spine, grip at his throat, Julian gasps. He pulls, and Julian rises to his knees in front of him, following Logan’s lead until his back presses against Logan’s chest. Logan can touch so much more like this. His hands graze over Julian’s nipples, slide down his ribs, wrap around Julian’s cock.

It doesn’t take long. He’s been teased for so long, and he’s so sensitive. Logan only needs to get in a few strokes before Julian’s crying out, spilling into his hand and falling limp into his arms. Logan presses him forward once more, going onto his own hands and knees as he thrusts inside him. His teeth dig into Julian’s shoulder as he finishes, no doubt hard enough that a dark bruise will bloom by morning.

For some time, they just breathe together, Logan still pressed firmly over Julian.

“So,” Julian says finally, “Is that toy just for this, or do I get to keep it?”

Logan’s tired.

It’s been a particularly rough semester. He isn’t quite sure why he chose to do an internship on top of taking extra credits. It felt like a good idea at the time. But he can’t remember the last time he felt truly rested, the last time he wasn’t wracked with stress.

For once, Julian’s been the one with a less busy schedule. He’s working on an album right now, spends just a few hours a day in the studio and the rest of his time frowning at the spiral notebook he’s attempting to write lyrics in. He’s been beyond helpful, always making sure to have food ready when Logan comes home (take-out, of course, after his failed attempt at roasting chicken). He’s turned Logan on to bubble baths, tempted him with lavender-scented soaps and lazy handjobs. He lets Logan shout his frustration, listens patiently when Logan complains about all his work. He’d even come home one day with massage oils, had straddled Logan’s thighs and rubbed out the tension in Logan’s shoulders.

He’s been a goddamn saint, really. But no amount of baths and oils could release a semester’s worth of anxiety.

On his final day of the semester, he has two back-to-back finals. One first thing in the morning, one during his regular lunch hour. Right after, he rushes to his internship, holds back his grimace when he’s ordered to fetch coffee and make copies for a state Senator he doesn’t think he’ll vote for again. He isn’t sent home until well after dark, and his legs feel heavy as he trudges up the stairs to his apartment.

There’s soft music playing when he opens the door, a vibrant smell of take-out from his favorite Indian restaurant. He falls onto the couch, barely able to keep his eyes open.

“You have to eat,” Julian says, and the cushion dips as he sits beside Logan, “I ordered that biriyani you like. They sent it with nuts. I had to throw it out and order it again. It was such a hassle. You really should eat, to make it worth it.”

Julian brings a forkful of golden rice to Logan’s lips, and Logan opens his mouth. He lets Julian feed him, too tired to move his arms himself. The food helps a little, and he manages to take the glass of wine Julian offers him.

“It’s over,” Logan breathes, “This hellhole of a semester is over.”

“The internship too, right?” Julian asks, “I really think you should pick someone different next time.”

“I should’ve known better than to pick the one my father recommended,” Logan says, “God, what an asshole.”

“But it’s over,” Julian slides his legs over Logan’s lap, leans against his shoulder, “I get you for the whole summer now, right?”

“The whole summer,” Logan promises, kissing his temple, “Any ideas what you want to do?”

He’d imagined an island, maybe, or a trip across Europe. Instead, Julian reaches for the spiral notebook he’s been scribbling in, flips to a page near the end and slides it into Logan’s hand. Logan’s eyes skim the words. He freezes. He glances at Julian, looks back at the page and reads again.

“I like the blindfold,” Julian says, sounding a little nervous, “And being tied up. Just with the tie, though? I don’t think I could...with handcuffs, or anything. I trust you, but I need to know I can get out of it if I really need to.”

“It’s not all you like, apparently,” Logan says, scanning the list, “Fan of the spanking, hm?”

Julian’s cheeks turn a violent shade of red, “You could...with something harder, if you want. I wrote that down, too.”

“I see that. A crop, really?”

“...I’m curious.”

“And a gag,” Logan continues, “Role play. I may not be as good at that one as you are.”

“It’s just ideas,” Julian says, “Things I think I’d like. We don’t have to do all of them.”

“I do do this for you, you know. Don’t pretend it doesn’t help you relax.”

Julian shifts in Logan’s lap, straddles him and stares down at him, “But it’s not only for me, is it?”

“What do you mean?”

“You like being in control,” Julian says, “You need it. Just like I need to not be, sometimes.”

Logan pauses. Julian’s right, he realizes. This isn’t just about Julian, at least not anymore. He’s come to want it just as badly. It relaxes him just the same. He needs this.

“Well,” Logan says, blinking, “Which one should we start with, then?”

Julian smirks. He leans over the list, presses his finger against a word written in his familiar loopy cursive, “I thought...maybe this one?”

“Well," he smiles, tosses the list aside, "I guess we should get started.”


End file.
